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Monday, November 22, 2010

What you Don't Want in a Brother

I have this brother. He's ten years old. He's really into weapons and violence. The fascination is appearing everywhere: the computer games he's addicted to, the books he reads, and the things he does when he's bored.
So this kid brother... when we go to the store, he's really into the "nerf" guns, ugly plastic toys that shoot suction cup darts. He's bought one, or maybe two. And when he's bored, he makes awful toy guns out of paper. They don't actually shoot, so maybe I should call them model guns, not toy guns. He rolls up printer paper and tapes these rolls together in ways that look like guns. Then he aims them at people.
Also, he's really annoying. Here is one thing that happened today:
Brother (to my clarinet teacher): Hey, Larry. You know what a popular thing to do for boys my age is?
Teacher: What?
Brother: Make toy guns! (pulls out model gun.)
Teacher: Whoa, don't point that at me! It is NOT funny.
(I push model gun aside gently. As it is made solely of paper, it breaks.)
Brother: Hey! You broke it! And it exactly the same place as before! (punches me really hard.)
Mom: If it can't stand to be touched, maybe you shouldn't be waving it around.
Me: And anyway, I've never broken it before. (mumbles as brother walks away:) Jerk.
Brother (coming back): Hey! Jerk yourself! (hits me even harder.)

You get the idea.


  1. hey. this is little brother speaking. im cooler than she makes me sound.
    she's the annoying one!!!

  2. NOT.

    FYI, You are an annoying little kid whose 6 months younger then me. Even a year after this post. (to Rafie)